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Entries in Comedy (36)

Friday
Apr022010

Old Jokes

I’m getting very tired of my act—it’s not like I don’t write every day, it’s just that writing material takes so damn long. I’m trying to find a way to speed up the process, so I think retiring some of my current jokes will do just that. Here are some of my jokes I will never say again:
    •    My ex-girlfriend traumatizes me. I can’t even go into a theme park anymore because it reminds me too much of her.
Every time we have sex I had to wait in line.
 Once I got sunburn.
This guy cut in front of me - he had a season pass.

    •    My mother is over protective— too over protective.  The first time I had sex she was holding my hand. It was awkward. I was like:
Mom you are embarrassing me in front of the hooker,
This is the worse birthday present ever!
 Never bring me back to Chucky Cheese!

    •    Aids is like talent.  Either you got it or you don’t


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